Monday, December 1, 2008

"There are Gains for all Our Losses"

November 16, 2008, Our Family lost another family member. Robert Anthony Fisher, December 4, 1966 - November 16, 2008. He was 41 years old and is survived by 2 beautiful daughters, 2 sisters, 1 brother and his mom and dad. His family was very hard hit by his death that was not at all expected. His death was such a horrible lose.

I personally never had the pleasure of meeting Robbie, but did get to hear lots of stories about him as a child. My husband, Robbie's cousin, actually lived with his family for a while as a child and grew up with Robbie. I have heard Robbie's dad and my husband talk about him often and from everything I've heard, he was a wonderful person and truly loved his family. He loved to spend time with his daughters and loved to fish and play darts.

My husband and I picked Robbie's mom and sister's up in Tennessee and drove them to Florida to be with the family and go to the viewing. Robbie's mom talked all week about the many phone calls she had with Robbie over the last couple of months and talked about Robbie and his oldest daughter's trip up to see her a few months ago. She talked about Robbie wanting her to write down all the things she knew about their family history and to gather family photos. He wanted it for his daughters and the rest of the family.

My experience while in Florida was just overwhelming. This family has not been all together in years. Nana is now 83 years old and it has been at least 25 years since all her children and grandchildren have been together at one time. As horrible as this death was it brought this family together like nothing I have ever seen. I know that families are usually brought together during times like this, but this to me was different. Everyone gathered everyday at Maxine and Steve's house. Everyone, was together, sharing stories, memories, food, and friendship. The kids played together and everyone took pictures. The bonds that had been lost seem to reconnect. It was awesome to see so many people so happy to see family they had not seen in years.

The family had decided to have a early Thanksgiving together Friday. No one knew when this many family members would be together again and wanted to share one more day together before going home. It was a great day! Nana, all her children, and almost all of her grandchildren, great grandchildren and even great great grandchildren were there. There were a combined total of 10 people not there. And we got lots of pictures. I remember someone saying to Nana, "Do you see all this Nana.....This is all your fault!" LOL! If all her descendants had been there (including the in-laws) there would have been 52 of us. Before everyone left, Maxine and Melissa had a list going around getting addresses for everyone. There were several copies made before it was all said and done. It was an amazing day!

As horrible as it was to be there for the reason we were, It turned into such an Amazing time for my husbands family. I feel like his cousin Robbie, in spirit, was right there in the middle of it all enjoying his family being together. I have a feeling that his death created a time of bonding that will not be lost any time soon. They say that good things come from bad things. I have to say this family coming together was a really good thing. Today ....while at my sister's house I was looking at her blog and on her profile she had this quote and I knew that this would have to be the title of my post today and I truly believe it.


  1. There could be no greater love that the love I share with you.What you do for others is one the most selfless acts I have seen in a long time. I know just how much time & love you put in to this..You have done it for people you dont even know. You are truly awsome. Thanks for being my sister & my friend..With all the love the world can handle, ginger

  2. My Sister,

    A heart of gold,
    Nurturing and tough as nails.
    Strong but weak.

    My best friend,
    My confidant,
    A bond not to be broken,
    A bond that won’t be broken.

    Intuitive and Courageous
    Honest, compassionate, optimistic.
    A fighter for her family.
    She is the glue that bonds them.
    She is my sister, my best friend.

    I love her. I will always be here for her.
    I look up to her strength and admire her,
    My best friend. My sister

  3. Thank you for visiting my blog. You'res is very well done too!

    That was a beautiful post. I'm just so sorry to hear y'all lost a family member. He was young too ... younger than me. We just lost a friend to cancer (he was elderly) and it seems like we are attending way too many funerals these days. Well, when we're in Heaven there will be no more goodbyes. That is a comfort we hold onto as Christians.

    Have a wonderful evening. CYA around in Blog Land! ♥ ∞

  4. We gain LOVE from this type of loss and it withstands all time and space and distance. I too, have been in this realm a bit too much of late.

    It is the other side of life and we can not have one without the other, takes both halves to make it WHOLE. It's all about the love! Bless You Always.