Sunday, December 28, 2008

Old Friends

I know it's been a few weeks since my last post, but it has been a hectic few weeks. I had several photo restoration projects that I finished, several Christmas parties, work, and my own shopping that had to get done. Thank God for my sweet husband, he really helped out with all the shopping and the wrapping. I don't know what I would do with out him. Anyway.....Christmas was wonderful! John Wesley is having a blast with his new stuff and Robert and I really enjoyed the time off.

Saturday after Christmas, my dad and I visited with an old friend (Gloria) that we had not seen in about 20 years. We had thought of her and her husband often and tried to locate them several times. We finally found them about six months ago, and were finally able to visit them. They couldn't believe that we had been looking for them for so long. She actually said she couldn't believe that I thought that much of her. This is the lady that taught me how to crochet a granny square and inspired several afghan projects that the whole family took part in. I guess being a kid and her being an adult with kids of her own I can see how she might have thought that I didn't really have an attachment to her, but I did.

I am amazed at how my curiosity has grown about where all my friends have all gone as I've gotten older. I guess most people follow the pattern of finishing school, going to work, having kids and getting into that routine of taking care of family and working. Then as your kids get older and they get ready to move on with their lives you start to reflect on all the time that has actually gone by and you remember the friends that you haven't spoke to in years and have lost contact with. Well, I am working on changing that and with a little help from another friend and the Internet that all might change.

Sunday, a friend sent me an invitation to join Facebook so that I could view her profile. How cool is Facebook? I found several friends that I went to school with (20 years ago or more), I couldn't believe it. I know we all have friends that come and go, but when you find friends that you haven't seen or spoken to in years you realize how fast life really is going by. It doesn't seem like it was that long ago that all those friends were in my life. I know that they may not become an active part in my life now but it is nice to find a place where you can catch up with what's going on with them and remember all the fun times you had growing up.

I look back and remember a lot of good and bad times I had with those friends and think of how those people impacted my life. I will say that those years definitely influenced who I am and how I treat people today. I am no better or worse than the person that stands next to me. I may make judgements at times that I should not make but I am quick to rein myself back in and remember that I don't walk in there shoes and they certainly don't walk in mine. So...good, bad, or indifferent I try to learn something from all my relationships and treat people with the respect they deserve and sometimes even with respect they don't because who am I to judge.

Today....I say find an old friend....remember the good times and the lessons learned from the bad.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Positive things in Life....They are still out there!

A lot has gone on with my family and friends lives in the last few years. We have lost several loved ones, dealt with a lot of financial difficulties, and had to deal with several major family issues. Lot's of negative impacts to our families. With all these terrible things happening it is easy to see how we get completely distracted by all this negative energy and how that negative energy seems to just continue to pour out of people. I had a friend the other day say that, "this is just a season, and it will pass." I see my family and friends trying to see the positive things in life, but that negative just seems to keep creeping back in. What is going on?

As our lives continue to evolve, I think everyone tends to lose sight of the important things in life. Today, Life seems to revolve around nothing but what we have, what we don't want to lose, and just the udder chaos of everyday life in world of satellite TV, video games, computers, cell phones, etc..... When do we take time for our families? When do we take time for our selves? Is there ever a moment that we can just stop and think about what we are even doing to ourselves and our families?

I see people around me every day that could care less about being part of a family or even a work team. There are so many people that can not see past their own petty issues to want to help someone accomplish even a simple task. I do have my own issues too and I have my days, don't get me wrong. I am not perfect and never have claimed to be! However, even if I have some kind of petty beef about something, and I see that something needs to be done, or that someone needs help (even if it is someone that could care less about helping me), I get up and help. I figure that even if it doesn't change that person's laziness, or carelessness, or whatever issue they may have...I am not going to be that way. It is not in my nature to just let someone else handle it, or say that ain't in my job description. Like my boss has said so many times, " We get paid to work, We don't get paid to play, If we got paid to play they would not call it work". And I am sorry, but unless you are getting asked to do something dangerous or something that is completely outside your understanding, why not just do it, why has it got to be ...."that isn't in my job description"? To me this is just the devil at his best. People just harbor so much resentment when asked to do something, and never seem to get past it and that attitude seems to breed more negative energy. You would think people would want to do for the company that provides them a job. Look at how many people right now that would love to have your job, that can't even find work at a fast food place. HELLO! It's time for people to start appreciating what they have and taking care of it.

If people would try to look at what is really happening and look at the big picture, maybe they could see past all this petty stuff in life and move on to what is really important. God, Family, and Friendship! I know it is far fetched to think about everyone you come in contact with as a friend but if people would just treat other people with consideration, and understanding maybe everything else would fall into place. I try to treat every person I come in contact with respect and consideration even driving down the road. What is wrong with, walking past someone and acknowledging their presence with a smile and a hello if they make eye contact, or holding a door open for someone, or helping pick something up that someone else dropped and handing it to them, or not blocking a driveway and letting someone get out of a parking lot? What is it going to cost you?, 30 seconds....5 minutes? Big Deal! That's better than wasting the 15 to 30 minutes at work talking or goofing off that you got paid for that you could have helped someone complete a job task. Why not do something nice everyday for someone even if it is just smiling, saying hello, holding the elevator door, or even saying THANK YOU! Think how good it feels every time you do even the smallest good deed. If everyone would make that kind of effort, think about how that POSITIVE energy could grow.

Now family, It used to bother me every time I had a family member ask me for help with something. And several of us had a lot of animosity between us that has sense gotten 100% better after some realizations about family members fueling some fires. I was so wrapped up in what was happening in my own household that I didn't want to see the big picture with the entire family and how the whole family was effected by our fire starters. Well, as I have gotten a little older and more into my family history, lost several loved ones and really realized the importance of keeping the whole family close. I see how little we communicated with each other about was was really going on. That negative energy just bred more negative until it snowballed into an almost hate for several of my family members and after a few reality checks things took on a whole other dimension. I and the other family members are seeing things for what they really are and realized how petty a lot of our differences were and just in the nick of time. Since our kind of reuniting of the family we have really been there for each other. I am truly humbled now by all the wonderful things I missed out on with my family because of that negative energy and am doing everything I can to make sure it doesn't happen again.

I know that I can't always do everything I want to with or for my family but I am sure looking at my time with them in a whole new way. I try to see things from there side now and not complain if I am needed. I try to see any inconvenience to me as an opportunity to share something with my family and be a part of a moment that I might have missed if I had not been inconvenienced. So it is no longer an inconvenience, it is a memory, a memory of doing something good for my family and showing them that I love them and I will be there for them. Get away from the T.V, video games, and other things that just don't matter and do something with your family or for them. Do something for your neighbor or your friend. You never know when you might need them and they might just be there! Find the positives!

"Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end."- Scott Adams

Monday, December 1, 2008

"There are Gains for all Our Losses"

November 16, 2008, Our Family lost another family member. Robert Anthony Fisher, December 4, 1966 - November 16, 2008. He was 41 years old and is survived by 2 beautiful daughters, 2 sisters, 1 brother and his mom and dad. His family was very hard hit by his death that was not at all expected. His death was such a horrible lose.

I personally never had the pleasure of meeting Robbie, but did get to hear lots of stories about him as a child. My husband, Robbie's cousin, actually lived with his family for a while as a child and grew up with Robbie. I have heard Robbie's dad and my husband talk about him often and from everything I've heard, he was a wonderful person and truly loved his family. He loved to spend time with his daughters and loved to fish and play darts.

My husband and I picked Robbie's mom and sister's up in Tennessee and drove them to Florida to be with the family and go to the viewing. Robbie's mom talked all week about the many phone calls she had with Robbie over the last couple of months and talked about Robbie and his oldest daughter's trip up to see her a few months ago. She talked about Robbie wanting her to write down all the things she knew about their family history and to gather family photos. He wanted it for his daughters and the rest of the family.

My experience while in Florida was just overwhelming. This family has not been all together in years. Nana is now 83 years old and it has been at least 25 years since all her children and grandchildren have been together at one time. As horrible as this death was it brought this family together like nothing I have ever seen. I know that families are usually brought together during times like this, but this to me was different. Everyone gathered everyday at Maxine and Steve's house. Everyone, was together, sharing stories, memories, food, and friendship. The kids played together and everyone took pictures. The bonds that had been lost seem to reconnect. It was awesome to see so many people so happy to see family they had not seen in years.

The family had decided to have a early Thanksgiving together Friday. No one knew when this many family members would be together again and wanted to share one more day together before going home. It was a great day! Nana, all her children, and almost all of her grandchildren, great grandchildren and even great great grandchildren were there. There were a combined total of 10 people not there. And we got lots of pictures. I remember someone saying to Nana, "Do you see all this Nana.....This is all your fault!" LOL! If all her descendants had been there (including the in-laws) there would have been 52 of us. Before everyone left, Maxine and Melissa had a list going around getting addresses for everyone. There were several copies made before it was all said and done. It was an amazing day!

As horrible as it was to be there for the reason we were, It turned into such an Amazing time for my husbands family. I feel like his cousin Robbie, in spirit, was right there in the middle of it all enjoying his family being together. I have a feeling that his death created a time of bonding that will not be lost any time soon. They say that good things come from bad things. I have to say this family coming together was a really good thing. Today ....while at my sister's house I was looking at her blog and on her profile she had this quote and I knew that this would have to be the title of my post today and I truly believe it.